two posts in two days on this blog, i go realli have quite alot to fret for.

i've been trying to battle alot of temptations lately, to laze, lust, u say it, i might probably have it. Thank God and praise be to Him, for He had been faithful and have always put alot of other tots on my mind just when i start to entertain those temptations. So far, its been a faith walk and i haven't slipped much, though i must admit, i'm quite very close to slipping at times. worrying.

my results made me realised that its all God and not me, thats why currently, i am realli scared of slipping behind in my walk. for the first time in 3 months last friday, i skipped my quiet time. pray that it does not get into a pattern. Also, i haven been able to talk to God lately. i'll enter into prayer and end up drifting away into my own world of tots. Its been really realli dry and i fear for my walk. Its been abt 10 mths since i have rededicated my life to God and now, its realli like an all time low for this season.

Another thing. i sprout alot of nonsense out of my mouth lately, so much so i cant stand it sometimes. its not the normal nonsense i had been sprouting, but lately, more of being sharp tongued, esp to people i dont have patience for.

My father on the other hand, had been saying chinese vulgarities all over the phone. i dont like being ard him. thats why i frequent my grandma's house. BUT, going there reminds me of the fact that i haven tried my best to reach out to them, cos my grands are buddhists. My mom managed with God's help to convert 3 others to God, but the maj there are still non-christian. Pray for renewed passion to see my family saved.

i think my family is gonna break apart. mom told me she has sth to tell me and my brother after our exams, which means its gonnna be somthing big. sth along the line of a divorce. not that i am concerned abt it, in fact, i am just numb to the fact

the past few years had been very tough for my mom cos she had been the one trying to take initiative to mend relationship even though from my point of view, its my dad's pride that got the things the way they are now. And now, he still doesnt wanna admit that he is wrong. On top of that, when my mom goes to sleep the past few weeks, he would rub plastics bags and make loud noises with it just to irritate my mom. me and my brother both stand witness. The plastic bag by the way, is empty, and there is no reason why he should do it at night. at abt 1 am. he stops when he knows my mom's awake.

another thing, i'm quite sure that my dad's been using his power as the reignin RC chairman to do somethings that are pretty distasteful, like pulling strings and givingmy brother 70 hours of CIP for working in the RC library, even though my brother himself professed that he had never even smelt the books in that place. moreover, i do hear once that he talked abt feng shui. Come on, he serves in the China ministry in our church.

i think, sumtimes, i dunno why i still can stand it with him. hai. do keep me in prayer. my results are sumthing to thank God for this time round though. :D